bardkris (bardkris) wrote,

Famine or feast.

Seems like that's my way. I can survive famine. Gods know I have so far. I guess I'm always just surprised to go back to feast.

I have spent the last several years in a loving relationship. But it wasn't really a romance or anything. Ok... it was for me, some of the time. Maybe most of the time. But it was mostly just being best friends with someone and occasionally awkwardly trying to have sex with them.

Add to that the fact that I became a hermit when I was in the relationship, because when you love someone, sometimes it crowds out other people.

Cue this summer. Two of the people I cared about most in the world drastically changed their roles in my life. Kit became my best friend, and Travis became not.

So... I've been trying to try new things. Trying to figure my shit out. And making new friends. Sure, it's probably creepy because many of them are significantly younger than me, but it's a shared interest thing, and most people my age are boring or starting to become one-adjective people, which if I've never ranted at you about before, SUCK. So... here I am, with friends, and being able to actually touch people again without feeling like a complete creeper or like I'm cheating on someone, and it's great. Like, really great. My need for food and sleep are reduced, and I just feel really good being able to love and be loved. It's kind of super exciting.

Sure, there's a whole other kettle of fish in which I now have to worry about significantly more people's social boundaries, and that's terrifying as fuck, but I'll deal with it. Growth is never without danger. So, there, bitches.
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